Category Archives: Recipes

Oh the joy of dying from chocolate overdose

Looking over a recipe book my Aunt and Uncle gave me a few Christmases back, I came to a very important conclusion.

You can make anything (And I do mean anything) into a casserole. 

At least, people in the south do. My Uncle compiled this book o’ heart attacks from members of his church, which I won’t name, and I counted thirteen recipes with the word “casserole” in them. So my count didn’t even include casseroles hiding under other names, stowed away in other sections, or, and this is probably the most ridiculous part, desert casseroles. Are those even allowed to be called casseroles, or are they some form of pie or parfait at that point?

Either way, it made me see that people keep finding new, and sometimes disgusting ways of torturing their families preparing meals. Truthfully, a frito and zucchini doesn’t sound very appealing, but to each their own. So, I’ve decided to put one of my favorite recipes out on the internet.

The Splendiforous, Surprisingly Easy, Super Chocolatey Cake

You will need:

Two 9 or 10-inch round pans (your choice, but I usually use 9 inch)

One large box of instant chocolate pudding

Milk

2 boxes of whatever chocolate cake mix you prefer (I like using devil’s food or chocolate fudge.)

Whatever those boxes say you need. Eggs and oil, I think.

Package of chocolate chips or chunks (Your choice)

One of those cake cutting thingies, or however you feel comfortable slicing a cake in half

Chocolate icing (You can get that stiffer decorating icing, too, if you feel really fancy)

Mixing bowl, plus another bowl about the same size.

Preheat the oven to whatever the cake box says, and make the cake as directed. Before you put it in the pans, add about 1/2 cups chocolate bits (Or more, that’s up to you, but remember they may sink to the bottom of the pan, so go light, and you can add more in after it’s in the pan). Bake until it’s done.

Now, let the cake cool completely. Go read a book, or finish getting drunk, or yell at your kids for shaving off their eyebrows. Whatever my dear readers do in their spare time.

Actually, now might be a good time to make that pudding. Mix the ix with milk as directed, except reduce the amount of milk by about 1/2 cup.

Once the cake is cool, carefully remove the cakes from the pans and prepare to mutilate.

Slice both cakes horizontally and pick one of the top halves and set it aside. Slather some puddin’ on one of the bottom halves and put the other bottom on top of it. Rinse, repeat.

Still with me? Good. Once your cake looks like a non-text version of this:

(Cake)

puddin’

(Cake)

puddin’

(Cake)

You’re ready to frost it! Yay!

Frost it, obviously. ALLLLLL over. Pile it on thick if you want. Your choice. Now set that delicious beast aside for a moment and turn your attention to the last remaining cake half.

Crumble it. Crumble it all with no remorse. You’ll be sticking these cake bits onto the side of your cake. Or throw it at the cake. Again, really up to you.

If you have that decorating frosting what comes in tubes, now’s a good time to add whatever fancyschmancy decorations you want.

So, you’ve got the cake baked, layered with puddin’, surrounded by crumbly bits, and possibly fancily decorated. What’s left, you ask? See that bag of chocolate chips you thought you would now get to devour? Take some of those and sprinkle them over the top of your almost done cake. This is optional, but c’mon, you don’t really want to take away any delicious chocolatiness, do you? Didn’t think so.

Once you’re done with that, VIOLA! You have a delicious cake. Pat yourself on the back or go start a food fight with your neighbors.

Or just cut yourself a slice of that delicious and moist cake sitting innocently on the table.

Well, Congratz on your baking adventure, if you did it right. Condolences if it blew up in your face. Hilarity if it did literally.

This is the longest recipe I’ve ever written. Now go sit your sweet patooty down and eat some cake!

Ta for now!

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